Trail Rated

Rose Dawn enjoying a rosey dawn in the desert.

One year ago today, my trusty jeep, Rose Dawn, landed me in this sunny, sparkly place that I now call home: Nevada. The trip was long and sometimes hot, but always interesting. At times the road twisted, its very end disappearing from sight even, but we navigated on, my trusty co-pilot, my jeep, the mutt, and I. Long hours and days we spent following a well marked trail whose end, interestingly enough, was not well marked. The end was another beginning, as I landed in an unknown place, and the start of a most eventful year.

Because I like to write, and because my writing entertains him, as a thank you to my homey for these past 366 days of adventure, I will share some of the lessons I've learned in our past year:

1. If there's a potential for food to be dropped, it will land on my homey's shirt. We are busily working out a prototype of the "Man Bib" as I type. Details for sales and/or franchise opportunities coming soon!
2. Sometimes scary is exciting, but sometimes it causes one to squeeze her eyes very tightly shut! Tokyo can keep its damn drift as far as I'm concerned!
3. Arguing and debating are two different beasts. Confusing one for the other is no fun,  but can also lead to unnecessary confusion and trouble. So let's not argue, homey. A good debate is always better!
4. The unexpected can be wonderful or it can be painful, BUT if you don't let in the potential for the unexpected you never know which it might be! (Admit it, you're expecting me to make a Forest Gump reference here, aren't you? Nope. Not gonna do it.)
5. Perspective is everything: I'm not yelling at you, homey, just scolding* a little. I can't help it if my voice tends to carry. It's genetics. I swear. Ask my sisters :)
6. Romantic love is sweet and required, at times, to cause things to rise... like goosebumps, for instance. But practical love is my favorite kind, most days. And just so you're in the know, here's a taste of the practical stuff:

• Homey rolls over in bed, to stop snoring, as soon as I poke him in the ribs, with nary a grumble.
• Homey has given me a helping hand (or hauling me completely) out of the bathtub on many occasions, to prevent slip and fallage.
• Cleaning (because I hate to), making coffee every morning (because I am not a morning person), offering to do (fill almost anything in the blank) for me even though I refuse the help over and over.
• Refusing to say "I told you so" when his help may have prevented disastrous results.

Actual disastrous results.

Many friends thought I was nuts to uproot my life for an unknown entity so far away. At times I even wondered "what the heck was I thinking??" But there are times in life when you have to follow a hunch and take a chance. Life is all about adventure. Life is all about love. Life is all about sharing. 

Wait. Wait. Now just wait one cotton pickin' minute. Which one is it?

That's an easy one for me to answer after this past year: 

Life is all about sharing adventures
with the one you love.

And you can quote me on that! (But if you do, please back link to this page. This blog's Google rating is pitiful.)

*While "fact checking", i.e. looking up words on thesaurus.com, I find that scolding is synonymous with words such as berate, castigate,  disparage, lecture, nag, rake over the coals, tell off... No wonder my poor homey thinks I'm yelling. Henceforth, instead of "scolding", I will attempt to simply redirect (as in alter, modify, switch, turn aside, whirl) his thinking. Yeah, that's better :)

P.S. See the links down there, right under this post? Click one! Share the love. Share the Good Stuff. C'mon, it'll be good for your karma!

©Dorkus vocabularis

News, Schmooze

The Sandusky story is a microcosm of the sensationalized "news" we see every day.
It's one reason I don't watch it.

This trend in the media, the one that values sales and profit over truth, integrity, and intelligent reasoning, has contributed too much to the polarization of politics and American opinions. What sells are the Loud and Abrasives. What sells is the bizarre and extreme. What sells is getting the news out FIRST, and because of technology this means instantaneously, which leads to circulation of stories in the national news before fact checking is thorough. So not only sensational news, but also half-truth passes muster if the marketing department thinks the story will sell.

I am a big fan of the Bell Curve, the statistical truth of the bell curve that is. MOST of what exists lives is the middle part of the curve. If we apply that to societal policies, then for Americans to get the most benefit from a political decision, meeting the needs of the majority on the chart should be our political system's GOAL. BUT, because political strategists know what makes the news is loud and extreme that's how they present their wares: candidate, viewpoint, policy.

It's the same as how the news media sell their stories. For example, the Sandusky Sex Scandal. First of all, you don't even think of it as a story about Sandusky, now do you? No. And why? Because everybody knows what Penn State is, but not many could tell you who Jerry Sandusky is. Joe Paterno's name is referred to in this piece of "news" because people know JoePa. His name has been broadly known in college football for decades. This morning, I read a letter on pennstatetrustee.com about just this topic. You should click that there link and give it a read; it's well written, intelligent, and to the point. And all from the keyboard of a Buckeye (if that kind of thing matters to you).

In all honesty, I have to confess that sometimes I jump to conclusions about a story I've read. I repeat it without thinking because it so nicely demonstrates a belief of mine. But there's a difference here: 1. my opinions aren't circulated among the American public as fact and 2. newscasters are supposed to report the facts of an event. When I post a news story I include my opinion because the issue is close to my heart and it's not my intent to spread the news. I'm not getting anything more from posting a story than having a voice and using it.

Plus we commonly forget, when it comes to the news market, that if something sounds too good to be true, then it probably is. Let me put it this way: if you get an email from Burundi informing you of the $37M you inherited, more than likely when you pay the $28K in international transfer fees what you'll get in return is, well, nothing but your picture on the wall as World's Biggest Idiot. This you already know. So why not extrapolate from there? If a news story is too good, too juicy, too whatever, it's there to play on your extreme emotions. It's there to sell you. And is that what you really want instructing your opinions? Something that's only goal is financial profit?

Oh, but it's so easy to get sucked in, isn't it? I have a few views of my own that if I see a story about any one of them I'm like a frog in the springtime, I can't help but croak about it. Take the whole Chick-fil-a thing. I really don't see this as news because he's one man with one narrow minded opinion. But boy-o-boy does it irk me that he's taking his opinion and spreading it via the American news media. He went public with a private opinion at a time when it greatly benefits far right politicians. But then has the gall to get pissy when his far right opinions, which by definition represent a minute minority of chart space on the old Bell Curve, offend the majority.

Yes, Dan Cathy has every right to voice his opinion. But he doesn't have the right to pass judgment on anyone else's life and call it fact. Judgment as right or wrong is based on fact. I was born in upstate New York. That is a fact and can be judged as a correct and true statement. Upstate New York is cold in the winter. That is an opinion, because although it is fact that coldest temperatures there are in the -30's, it factually gets colder than that in other places. So "cold" is based on someone's prior experience, physical makeup (genetics) and personal preferences.

The larger point is, though, that because this man runs a sizable American corporation, his emotionally charged opinion of the LGBT community is now newsworthy. It's an emotional story. It's an extreme opinion. It sells. Americans become even more polarized by one single man's opinion. Shame on us.

Democracy is all about intelligently addressing differences and in a strong democratic society compromise is of utmost importance so that society at large gets the most benefit out of any situation. The saddest loss of this current trend, in my humble and sometimes flawed opinion, is this: because of current profit mongering in the news media marketplace we can no longer intelligently consider beliefs that contradict our own even though it behooves us all to do so in order for our Republic to survive and thrive.

P.S. And anyway, Dan Cathy, why is homosexuality a bigger sin than passing judgment? Isn't that God's job? Usurper.

Debunking the Self-Motivation Myths

Today I sat down to do a little research about self-motivation. I knew I would run across a few websites on the subject and figured they would be a great place to start. Unfortunately, I learned there’s a lot of crap out there. My job, I quickly came to understand, was to come up with some real stuff that can help us light a fire under our proverbial hind-quarters.

Myth: Self-motivation > Life’s difficulties

• While self-motivation can help one overcome trying times and difficulties, I think probably a more important ingredient here is having half a brain. Maybe things suck right now because your brother-in-law talked you into sinking your savings into a “sure thing” investment scheme of composting and subsequent sales of pachyderm manure fertilizer. This caused several difficulties for you, the worse of which definitely was not finding the space to store all of that elephant poo while the composters did their thing for a couple of months. Tsk tsk (or tusk tusk, to stay on topic) you sure were motivated to make money, but that half a brain would have come in handy BEFORE you launched yourself into entrepreneurship of this type.
• Sometimes life’s difficulties lead to times of great sadness. I don’t know about you but I’ve had a few good sads and I don’t care how self-motivated I have the potential to be nothing could have changed those sads before I was good and ready to let a little happy in. But, then again, I am sort of stubborn sometimes.

Myth: Having a cause/dreaming big leads to self-motivation

• Nope. Not feeling this one either. There are a lot of things that are very important to me: my family, the environment, cooking and eating healthy. These are all “causes”, things to focus my attention on. But they don’t help me self-motivation-wise.
• And dreaming big, well that’s led to more wasted days spent daydreaming than I care to divulge in a medium that may well exist in time and space far longer than I will. I would hate to embarrass my great- great- great-grandkids.
• Actually, it feels to me like you need a fair amount of self-motivation to be able to have a cause or dream big in the first place. I think they’re putting the cart before the horse on this one.

Myth: Be hungry

• Ok. Yes. I get how figurative “hunger” could lead to a semblance of motivating oneself. As I am a very literal person, however, this piece of advice just motivated me to go raid the pantry and eat a whole bag of chips, thank you very much. I was trying to save those chips as a reward for finishing the assignment I’ve been searching for motivation to start!
• And now I feel fat, so I’m going to need even more motivation to go hit the treadmill. Oy.

Myth: Self-confidence leads to self-motivation

• Hmmm. I see a connection here, a common theme, with the whole “self” thing. But that’s about where it ends for me. Screeching halt. Yes.
• Self-confidence surely can make you believe that the ideas you have are worth trying out. Which might lead to you writing those ideas down, in detail.  It could also lead to you sharing your ideas with friends and neighbors, maybe even business associates. However, your self-confidence may also have led you to believe that pachyderm composted waste is the next eco-friendly product of the year. This would certainly lead to you taking a major hit in both the self-confidence AND the self-motivation realms of your psyche. I believe this is not a good idea. At all.

De. Bunked.

Ok, so I know what you’re thinking “Ok brainiac. If all those other guys are wrong about self-motivation how do you think we get it?” And now you’re also thinking, “How does she do that?? Get out of my HEAD you pushy broad!” All of which is completely beside the point and has once again distracted me from my task at hand… momentarily.

My favorite Zen quotation is this: “Seek not to follow in the footsteps of the masters; seek what they sought.” Ah, I love a good, randomly inserted, quote. However I am actually trying to make a point here, too. Self-motivation is just what it sounds like: motivation that comes from inside you. As such, I have no bloomin’ idea what motivates you because your motivation is yours alone. And anyone who tries to sell you on how to get you some self-motivation is a shyster and should not be taken as any type of guru. I will gladly accept the cash you might want to shovel into that other guy’s pocket. Really, I don’t mind!

There are ways you can help build self-motivation into your life and the things you do, though. Or at least I’ve found this to be true. Here’s a short list:

1. Make what’s important to you a priority. I like to help people, so nursing is a really great career for me. Maybe you absolutely LOVE the smell of grease and the feel of cold metal in your hands. Perhaps mechanics is your bag. Whatever, though, if you build your life and the things you do around what is most important to you, deep down as a person, self-motivation won’t be much of an issue. Unless, of course, what’s important to you is proving that composted pachyderm poo is the very best fertilizer on the face of our green earth. If that’s the case then this may be a point where you’ll want to do some reprioritizing there Skippy.
2. Have fun, dammit. Nothing in life should constantly cause unrelieved and unrelievable stress. How are you supposed to stay motivated in those circumstances? I’m not talking about things that are beyond your control, I’m talking about the choices you make. They should be fun! They should be good for your soul! They should make you laugh madly and wildly and make all your friends wonder what the hell you’re on and where they can get them some’athat!
3. Be easy on yourself (because life probably won’t be). If you failed at least you had some fun doing it, if you were smart enough to heed suggestion #2, anyway. And failure just shows you where the hell you shouldn’t go again. Ever. Like those people who marry the same person twice? WTF? If it didn’t work the first time what makes you think it will a second? That’s just insanity if you ask me.
4. Take baby steps. And in this instance again I, Ms. Literal Thinker, feel I must warn you: Do not try actual baby steps. Adults who walk like babies generally fall frequently and the incidence of head injury and “Muhammed Ali speech syndrome” may increase exponentially*. The baby steps I am referring to are the kind wherein you break your task down into small parts. Small enough for a baby to step over? Yes. You’ve got the picture.

Self-motivation? In four easy steps? Sure why not? I mean the 10-Minute Workout was all the rage a few years ago, why can’t self-motivation be attained in four steps? Americans sure are a fickle bunch, jeez. However, if you still don’t feel like four steps is enough, go here and you’ll get eight! Yes, two for the price of one! You lucky, lucky reader. And if you’re still not motivated after that, well, I don’t know what to tell ya. I guess you’re screwed.

*While writing this sentence, my brain wouldn’t go anywhere else but “may increase existentially”. While I absolutely knew that increasing something existentially is not at all what I wanted for the sentence that concept is STUCK in my head now! Look for another post SOON on increasing existentially. Oh, and, in case you’re wondering, no, it will not be a post about male enhancement drugs. Thanks.
©Dorkus vocabularis

This Cape, This Point of Power

 

The place where local meets global.

This cape is the point where waters flowing down from mountain tributaries merge with the waters of the Atlantic Ocean. Water carries with it bits and memories of every element it washed against as it moved into larger and larger bodies. These elements swirl and mingle together and become the history of the water.

Here, at this cape, is the moment those bits and memories collide with the combined histories contained in the whole wide and undulating ocean.

The place where thought expands.

The first time thoughts are presented with similar yet spatially different ideas, the potential for sparks to fly is nearly overwhelming. Measuring ideas against others, though, is an exercise in learning, intimidating though it might be. And there is great power in this learning and great power, too, in the measuring. And as always, wherever great power exists, there coexists a possibility of crushing fear.

What if these thoughts and ideas, flowing along a lifetime, are faulty, or smallish, or wrong?

Here then, at this point, the measuring and learning become the force and focus to the flow of thoughts from this place onward. There are no limits here. The shores on either side of this expanse are so far off as to seem limitless. Even in the mind’s eye. Boundaries are now gone, and so, this is the very time to measure and to learn, and maybe to expand or replace the old with updated, adapted or adopted thought.

The place where contained meets boundless.

Ideas held within a tight space do not grow. They are still, perhaps stagnant. They are as the silt washing slowly, slowly with the water. They may change slightly, but not enough to warrant notice or comment.

And suddenly, here, these ideas, these thoughts and theories experience a sudden state of boundlessness. Unencumbered they judge what they were against what they might be, what could possibly be. There are sounds of rushing, swirling, and mixing; all unregulated mayhem in these waters. What was once a slow and steady movement now becomes a crashing into, unpatterned flows.

Here again is that power. The dual energies of creation and destruction are here, side by side. They are meant for this place because movement and change is accepted here. It is expected that, here, small becomes large, bound becomes free, yin becomes yang.

The place where gentle waves wash ashore meets crashing waves pounding the sand.

This yin: the gentle washing of waters from the mouth of the bay. This yang: the ocean waters pushed along by the moon and the wind and the weather. This place where opposite energies kiss and collapse into each other’s edges.

It is true that yin cannot exist without yang. It is true that stillness could not exist without movement and change. One simply does not exist without the other. And life is filled with the contrasting colors of opposites. It must be so.

There is a time for slow restful movement. It is the time for incremental gathering together. There is also a time for pushing and crashing ideas. A time to toss out, sweep back, for tumbling together of bits and memories. Each has its place, each serves its purpose, and each edges against the other.

The place of change.

The place where these two energies collide is the place of change. The point of power.  Change either requires a great deal of energy or releases it. At either extreme, there is a great exchange occurring at every moment.

And exchange is the stuff of life. Exchange is a most amazing concept: it conjures thoughts, love, genetic materials. It speaks of life and death, labor and birth. Change is, in its most basic sense, the intensity of life.

A place to claim change.

Does this cape claim you? At the level of your soul? Does it call you? Move you? Require you?

This place of change and intensity is a demanding master. It may require your presence, but it requires your presence at your very deepest and best self. Strength is necessary to stand anchored in the flux and crashing. Balance is required to keep your head straight and aligned with your heart and the root of your being. Courage and poise are demanded, which can only have been forged by right experience.

Is this your place? The demands are great, the stakes are the highest. The rewards, however, are as expansive and boundless as the very waters of the ocean.

Note: I meditate, sporadically, but I do meditate. Some of my most powerful experiences have been meditating with the point of Cape Henlopen as my focus. I know this is a huge stretch from what you usually read in this blog, but it's been so long since I posted anything I figured, meh, whatever. It's different, but then again, so am I. I hope you enjoyed this change of pace :)

©Dorkus vocabularis

A Life In Flux

FLUX n

Definiton: state of constant change

Synonyms: alteration, change, flow, fluctuation, fluidity, instability, modification, motion, mutability, mutation, transition, unrest

A general sense of change clings to me, more often than not, and for the most part I'm good with that. For example, I've been doing this "project" at work since last March and I've moved offices three times in that short period. Maybe I smell? Or me talking to myself annoys people? Maybe not. I choose to believe I have a happy little vibe that whispers "Spppssst... this chick here? Change keeps her on her toes, keeps her fresh and moving and vital."

I pretty much have a go with the flow attitude about life, especially this little  stuff. I mean, I can work from almost anywhere. This constant shifting and packing of pens, files, and a really cool caricature? It's actually taught me a few things about myself:

1. I prefer company while I work, but not a lot of distraction.
   • I work with four women in one office, but it's a big space and, except for the odd gesticulation, we're fairly quiet little worker ants. I adore my office mates.
   • When I work in an office by myself, it's difficult to keep my focus and priorities straight. If I spend more than a few seconds (which I obviously just did since I'm typing this epiphany) thinking about it, that makes sense: one who adapts well to change and mutability can easily grow toward scattered and spacey if in the wrong environs.
     
2. Flexibility is a wonderful thing, but I prefer mental to physical.
   • I was a cheerleader in high school: pom poms, short skirt, saddle shoes, the works... and during those years I would have given my megaphone to have a decent split or super-high kick. Alas that was not to be my strength. Today though, I'm glad. I feel like if life had given me those things, I wouldn't have the same mental flexibility that I enjoy today. In a karmic kind of way. Sort of.
   • I really, really enjoy being able to think my way around a problem or situation. I'm not the most intelligent person, in the IQ sense of the word, but I'm pretty damn clever with the off the wall, "Hey! This might just work..." kind of ideas. I sort of like that about me, if I do say so myself. (blech. puke. I hate when I get that way; all full of myself and crap.)
3. Having this flexibility, in my job, is usually seen as a good thing.

• Maybe not as good as having the strength and flexibility of a good pole dancer, but it rates. Or I'll keep telling myself that since I have neither the body nor moves of a good (or even late morning shift) pole dancer.
• The only time flexibility is looked down upon is when the person I've just shown up gets a little bent out of shape because of it. "Bent out of shape," by the way, originated from Old English and was used to describe the contortions of one's lips when irritated or embarrassedly pissed.

So, yes, FLUX.

It's a good word. It has character. It contains one of the rarely used, and 8 whopping Scrabble point, letters in the English alphabet. It is short, concise, and to the point. It replaces words like mutability and transition, which is very important if you're writing a blog post and only have a certain amount of space to work wi


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