Delicious Ambiguity

I wanted a perfect ending. Now I've learned, the hard way, that some poems don't rhyme, and some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what's going to happen next. Delicious Ambiguity.

-Gilda Radner

Gilda Radner was a comic genius in a time when being female and a comedienne wasn't common or very well received. If you don't remember her character, Roseanne Rosanna Danna, you absolutely MUST watch this clip:

She was a hoot, to say the least, and maybe an absolute nutjob, but damn was she ever funny. Then she got ovarian cancer, fought it, but died anyway. I'm guessing, although I have no real idea if my guessing is on the money tonight or not, but I think, probably, the quote above was Gilda after finding out that no matter how hard she fought, it just wasn't in her cards to win this round.

Sad that it takes so many of us to come to a point-of-no-return crisis to realize that life is meant to be lived, not planned to the edge of insanity and crammed with struggle and nonsense. I feel fortunate that I can say, I count myself in the group of non-planners. You've heard me say it before: I am in LOVE with the "No-Plan Plan"! This type of life management works well for me for several reasons, which I will enumerate thusly:

1. I get overly disappointed with disappointment, and if I don't have a plan, then there are none to fall through.
2. The No-Plan Plan helps me to really see what's in front of me instead of seeing what's supposed to happen and getting all annoyed when something great, but different, comes along instead.
3. I love the unexpected. And I find there's more room for the unexpected when there are no "expecteds" to get in my way.
4. A No-Plan Plan helps me to live creatively and eclectically and since creative and eclectic
   are two of my favorite self-descriptors, well it just suits. See?

The trouble I have with this way of living is that sometimes I forget how well it actually works for me. I'll get stuck in a rut, or start feeling down and drab and think, I need a plan. I need to work myself through, and out of, this mess I'm in. Then the PLANNING begins.

Shortly thereafter, all hell breaks loose!

I don't do well with the "Plan Plan".

Also, sometimes I feel like such an incredible oddball because all my friends and family are going around, making their little plans, following them through, and they seem to be happy and on what one might call "the right track". With a No-Plan Plan, if there is a track, I can't seem to find it. Plus, when anyone asks me what my plans are... well, let's just say there's a lot of pausing and stuttering that goes on in what is best described as my "No-Answer Answer".

But BIG kudos to Gilda. She's made my No-Plan Plan sound exotic and enticing with those words of hers: Delicious Ambiguity. LOVE THAT!

So. Henceforth, I will be on the "deliciously ambiguous" plan. Mayhap I will coin a new term: delambi-plan. It may cure my stuttering, although maybe I'm the only one who will know I'm not stuttering... delambi-what??

delambi-plan n.
A term referring to a plan in which there is absolutely no planning involved. How was my weekend? It went exactly how i delambi-planned it!

P.S. Ima whore......... myself out now ;)

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THANKS!